uranus/moon insanity

omg, mercury retrograde. facebook hates me. also my phone kinda. and this dang rehashing of... shit. sighs.

that's one thing on my mind. the other thing is uranus. more specifically, uranus in the birth chart. even more specifically, aspects that uranus may make to the moon. it's such a... clashing. such a clashing of energies. two very different things being sort of forced into this relationship. i feel like even the "good" aspects like a trine in this case is still... erratic. vacillating. deep and aloof at the same time. longing for closeness but actively ignoring, pushing away.

and then you have my moon/uranus aspect: inconjunct. the exception, i think, to the clashing, but it presents its own set of problems. they CAN'T be smooshed together. it's just two totally different parts of me, my blind spots of sorts. my moon is up in the 8th house, so it goes down deep but there are always concerns. a fascination with death, and not in a suicidal way or anything (at least not currently), just... that. fascination. it's also where my fear lives, and my deep, deep attachments to others. does that sound scary? it feels scary sometimes. but it's just how i've always been. sometimes i think of the eighth house as just a dark room. pitch black. well, maybe a little bit of light shining in from an unknown source. or a nightlight. 

come to think of it, the moon would have been just the slightest crescent in the sky, as i was born right after a new moon. black except for a sliver of light.

then, uranus, which my moon can't see. uranus which is also conjunct my mars. i'm sudden and erratic sometimes and slightly prone to emotional outbursts, and my blood boils. and i say mean things. it's destructive. uranus can be destructive. and mars is just the warrior. it's gone as soon as it comes on. they are never unprovoked, though... and that's where i see the inconjunct. it's something i can't connect, or struggle to, rather. that part of me with my dark moon. getting a glimpse of something there, usually to do with a significant other, that they're not telling me. i always pick the emotionally unavailable types... which is why i was thinking of uranus and the moon in the first place. in relationships, and how it adds a dimension of just not knowing. thinking you do, but then you pull back or the other pulls back and it's just... unsettling.

i know that i have a degree of this as well. most likely why i attract it.

so far the steps i see to overcoming it (and these are very preliminary): speaking. or writing. or just thinking. quiet. not expecting mind reading on either side, aka not assuming. for me, specifically: not exploding. waiting to speak. writing before speaking, to clear out all the shit from my veins. in other words... outlets.

how's your uranus/moon treating you? or... how are you treating it?

edited to add this excellent article on the moon, uranus, and relationships: sasstrology

autumn sounds/astro talk

"What angers you, controls you." I saw that while driving past a church! It struck a chord, though... Anger is a deep, dark beast.

It's fall... this song, Haiti, by Arcade Fire, is super fallish to me. I remember a few years ago, making the 234 mile trek from my place to my hometown, driving through the red and yellow and orange and dark green trees, and it was already starting to get dark out, and for a stretch of road, just listening to this song on repeat. 

Also, I'm currently obsessed with Gorillaz/Gorillaz radio on Pandora, and Dirty Harry is, I think, becoming another tune that I will associate with this time of year:

some tree action. kings landing, new brunswick, canada.

***

Sun is at 17* Libra. It's broken through to my first house! Self awareness. Out of the mists of the 12th house, into hopefully seeing myself again... it's starting. I feel it. 

I did a seven card draw last night (the arc) and I had the realization that it's me, resisting change at this deep down level I'm still not fully aware of- just caught a glimpse. Thoughts and feelings of not being worthy, of not thinking I'm good enough to continue on this path... even thought I am getting signals otherwise. I know this change, this evolution is necessary  I just never thought of myself as resisting before, but... there you go.

My action step is the wind faery, who represents strategy, focusing my mind, focusing my thoughts. Being aware of my thoughts- do they empower me, or not? Are they positive or worrisome? Using the analytical mind- conveying my thoughts and feelings. Improving communication, written and verbal. Crazy how right on this is for me right now. Mars will so soon be in my third house of communication (and short trips, and siblings)- I'm looking forward to the boost in that area of my life.I'm nervous as shit over some of the things I'll be doing, but I feel like it's time to stop resisting... in my passive way.

That's what the houses are... representative of different areas of life. Mars is energy. My natal Mars is in Sag, as is the current Mars. We'll see...

Where is this Mars for you? What's your favorite fall music?

Sun Sign Basics.

The sun sign is what western astrology is based on. It's the sign you reply with when someone asks you what your sign is. It's where the earth is, in relation to the sun, the day you were born. Every birthday marks your solar return. That's where the expression, "and many happy returns!" comes from.

I'm thinking I'll list the signs, ruling planet(s), and anything off the top of my head I can think of. 

Aries: Ruled by Mars, the red planet. This energy is independent, assertive, with a strong sense of self. Not afraid of, may even willingly hunt for and take on, challenges.

Taurus: Ruled by Venus. Taurus is characterized by love and beauty in nature, environment, in general. The definition of such, will of course vary. Security. Finances. Steadfastness. (Some may say stubborn... what?)

Gemini: Ruled by Mercury. Intelligent, a bit erratic, unique. That brain is always thinking, always going, sometimes multiple trains of thought at once!

Cancer: Ruled by the moon. The moon waxes and wanes, and especially influences the emotional states of those with Cancer prominent in their charts.  

Leo: Ruled by the sun. This energy is obviously warm and expansive, but wants/needs attention and recognition for all that they do. Also generally affectionate and generous.

Virgo: Ruled by Mercury, as well as Gemini. The energy is expressed differently in Virgo, though. Virgo is characterized by a strong work ethic and "purity of purpose" in their ideals (some may say "perfectionist"). Also loyal and truthful.

Libra: Ruled by Venus. This sign is all about relating, to themselves and to others. It also rules beauty and is intellectual in approach and nature. Balance is especially important for Libra types.

Scorpio: Ruled by Pluto, but before Pluto was discovered it was ruled by Mars. Scorpio's energy is deep and intense, and this power can be used for good or otherwise. They have potential to be great healers.

Sagittarius: Ruled by Jupiter. Expansion in all areas of life is a focus for Sadges. Travel, philosophy, education (formal or not), spirituality, art, and the like- these are all very important to this sign.

Capricorn: Ruled by Saturn. Very capable energy- they can do anything. May at times feel fearful of expanding, but this is the lower vibration. The sea-goat wants to keep ascending, and again- are EXTREMELY capable of doing so.

Aquarius: Ruled by Uranus, and was ruled by Saturn before Uranus was discovered. Aquarians are VERY independent, but in a different way than Aries. Aquarians just have to be, whoever they are. Period. To others this may seem rebellious, erratic, or weird, but Aquarians know that what others think doesn't really matter. ;)

Pisces: Ruled by Neptune, and was ruled by Jupiter before Neptune was discovered. Pisces energy is subtle but deep. Their lives may be lead more by intuition than they realize. Art, spirituality, and that which is unconscious, like dreams, interest them. Prone to confusion and escapism, however!

So there's my round up. What do you think?

From adventures in Eastport, Maine.

early bird

it's what i am today. also yesterday- woke up hours before my boys, they are still sleeping as i write this. however, the fact that i decided to do something productive with this rare time most likely means that someone will come out into my writing space any time now... 

it's a gorgeous morning. my desk faces a window, and out it i can see the pale moon in the blue sky, see a green, green field and trees, and hear some birds and other critters running around. oh, and my coffee just finished being made, so.

what's up today? moon in pisces, 17* now, so a little more than halfway through. this makes a nice trine to the sun as i type this. the sun is our true self, the moon our hidden, emotional self, so when they trine- either by transit, or if you have this aspect in your chart- it's harmonious. your wants and needs match up, you feel comfortable with yourself and have a strong sense of self. and right now, i feel oddly calm and awake for 8:23am on a sunday. 

i've been thinking about shadow sides (polarities, aka opposite signs) somewhat lately, and how i am affected by mine. i'm a pisces and so my polarity is virgo- i talked about this once here. it's funny because for so long i wasn't aware of the virgo side of me at all. i just couldn't relate because it wasn't there, or so i thought. then, when mars the past 6 months has been in and out of my 12th house, which is ruled by virgo, i started... seeing it. i couldn't not see it. something that had been hidden (12th house rules this), had been revealed. and now it's there, and i'm working with it. trying to. never realized how controlling i could be, how detail-oriented, scrutinizing, fault-finding, obsessive, and such a perfectionist i could be (the detrimental kind, where you feel defeated all the time).

 (and yes, these are all lower qualities of virgo itself. the higher qualities of virgo are amazing- selfless service, nurturing others, spiritual, focus on health, manifesting their visions for themselves and the world. and i feel like virgo is also a transformational sign. they can go through hell and come back with the same positive outlook, just wiser. oh, and they're also known for having an insane work ethic. i love virgos!)

so i'm trying to transform some of these lower qualities into higher ones, and it is a bitch. but i'm thankful to see it. thankful to see the start of the roots. i realize that anxiety fuels much of this. the other night while laying down in bed but before sleep i cleared my chakras, which helped, but i could still feel anxiety in there. so i started taking deep breaths, and i pinpointed it. the very front of my stomach felt this very tangible anxiety. so i breathed very deeply into that space, visualizing the breaths dissolving it. then i did a short visualization of pulling the cord of anxiety out from that place (my virgo sister-in-law just took a class where she learned, among other things, how to cut cords and she taught me how to do it). right after i did it, i got a sudden jolt in my right forearm. like, it actually hurt a bit, but was very quickly gone. and it helped. meditation is healing, and i know how much i benefit from it, but i still don't do it every day. 

anyway- that was a tangent. i was going to say, i have to keep reminding myself to step back a bit, relax, not get riled up. because it is futile. and so, writing more. photography more. attempting to create/find a meaningful job. 

i think next time i will write a little bit about chakras. also, i have a post that i'm working on that isn't coming to fruition as quickly as i thought it would that's about a card reading i did. en route. 

i think that's all for now. enjoy this day, wherever you are.

10th house and career

Lately the subject of career has been coming up, and I've been thinking about mine, too! So I figured I'd write about what different planets in your 10th house- which rules career and your public persona- might look like. Let me know if it's accurate, I'm new at this! ;)


This is how I find a chart and transits (it's under 'free horoscopes,' then 'extended chart selection,' then 'natal chart and transits' in the drop down menu... or you can ask me to find it for you, I don't mind ;) ). Around the outside of the charts, the symbols for the planets are in green... that's where the current planets fall in your chart! Like this... so, this made up person has the moon transiting their 10th house.
 


(note- if you sign up at astro, you can save chart info so you don't have to enter it every time)

The sun here is going to illuminate the subject of career in your life- will bring to light what's working, and also what isn't, and you may be able to glean some important information. You'll probably want your efforts to be recognized and appreciated, perhaps through a raise, some other sort of perk, or maybe leaving a place that takes you for granted for a better fit. Just keep your ego in check!

The moon rules emotions and nurturing, among other things, so every approximately 28 days for about 2 1/2 days (the moon's cycle and time in each sign, respectively), you need to take some you time and decompress. Care for yourself as much as you care for others in whatever your work is- and that could be anything, not necessarily a job you get paid for. After all, you can't do well at your profession if you don't have yourself together, so do what you need to do to really relax. :)

Mercury is all about communication, words, and work, but the word work could mean different things for different people. ;) I see this as either helping communication or revealing professional relationships that are weak in this area. Either way, this is a good time to get info on careers you are interested in and explore your options. Mercury loves to multi-task!

Venus rules beauty and the arts, I see this as a time when you can improve your current career space (and yes, this could be by quitting and starting a new path) so it better suits you and your needs, and/or make time to do the things you love- maybe to make it your life's work, maybe just to feel more balance in your life because you've been working too much lately and need to reconnect with the rest that life has to offer. :)

I think of Mars as bringing a boost of energy to whatever house he is visiting in your chart! So think of this as the time to really get shit done to reach your goals, short and/or long-term. It's just that- an energy boost. Savor it, but remember to still take care of yourself, and get enough sleep so you don't burn out.

I view Jupiter as expanding this area of life- bringing new opportunities, or showing advancement of some sort in whatever it is that's your career/what you're trying to make your career. Depending on the sign these opportunities may be hidden, but they are there! :)

Saturn is going to bring the principles of hard work and discipline into your career path. You may have a vision, and have the necessary training and are just trying to earn money/get ahead in your line of work. The time you bring in will also bring you reward, especially if you're not just phoning in your efforts.

Uranus brings a shakeup of some sort. Maybe an opportunity out of nowhere, or a shake up at your current employment. Maybe you'll suddenly just go in a new direction altogether, and forge your own way. A good time to show and live independence, especially in the area of career! I'm thinking that this is something that others will really take notice of, as well.

Neptune is going to help your dream job vision, if you let yourself go there! ;) I'm seeing this as a great time to pursue your interests and make time to do the things you truly enjoy, in whatever propensity is doable. Just revisiting, or doing more of, these things, you will bring inspiration!

Pluto may bring a shake up, but a different kind than Uranus. I see this as a time where you may have to regroup and strategy. What are your values? And not just in the career world, but in real life. Is whatever you're doing living up to those values? What can you do to change that? Look inside yourself and learn.

If you don't have a planet in your 10th house right now, worry not! Something will be there soon, and besides, other areas of your life may be taking front stage right now. You can always look at the sign that starts the 10th house (and the corresponding planet- for example, in the chart, Sag is the beginning of the 10th house, and it's ruled by Jupiter), and see how your attitude in work may be in general. :)