not a morning person

preferably, i would sleep through the bulk of it every day, but obviously that is not an option. i like mornings in theory- the stillness, the quiet, the changing sky, the gradual opening of the day. drinking coffee and looking out the window or on the porch, all whimsical-like. obviously, that is not how i get down with mornings, but maybe one day i'll get there. what amazes me is people who get up early and exercise. (*note to self: getting up early to exercise would be amazing.)

but, that is not me. instead i feel fully awake after 8pm, and always want to start various projects around the house at like, 11. then i feel sleepy and pass out. i guess what i'm trying to say is, i really love sleeping and would do it most of the 24 hours of the day if it were culturally acceptable. 

so i really haven't written anything on this for like almost two weeks, or something? i've had terrible writer's block (what else is new), and had started a couple posts but i hated them and they felt so contrived and i got frustrated and gave up. 

also i hadn't gone to my meditation group in two-three weeks, and i realize how out of touch i get with spirituality in any sense when i don't have at least that weekly meditation! i like it because it is so tangible- you actually work with your energy centers, aka chakras, clearing them and such. it feels sooo good to do, i don't know why i slack and don't do it every day. 

but anyway, when i don't do that, it seems as though everything else creatively, or spiritually, or whatever, that i try to do, doesn't flow as well. oh, that kundalini energy.

(if you're interested, it is sahaja meditation that i practice- it's always free, i know there are various groups just around my small portland, maine, so they must be in other pockets of the world too :) )

i do know that i need some sort of positive change in my life, and that just sounds so vague! i mean, i know that like the first rule of making a change is knowing at least in what area of your life you want that change. from an astrological standpoint, i have transiting saturn in my first house, and it is slooowing me down and making me feel sooo stuck! oh and mars is there now, perhaps that's where the urgency is coming from? like, i just want to move (says mars) but haven't figured out any of the specifics (saturn says be careful).

oh and i just realized that the moon is in capricorn, which conjuncts transiting pluto in the early degrees. i learned, last month, i think? that this transit makes me feel crazy! plus it happens right on my natal neptune, which just... adds to it. to my delusions of grandeur. heh. (plus this all happens at the bottom of my chart, the IC, so it's just on that deep level that's hard to shake. so thankful that moon transits are short!)

welp, there it is. i posted something. i should go outside now.

*note to self: talk about the angles of the chart next time. :)

favorite parts of the day.